I believe in three universal truths: balance, suffering, and empathy.

Balance

Similar to the Law of Conservation and the idea of Karma, I believe in balance. This belief is based primarily from intuition – “it just makes sense”. Perhaps it is also based in a selfish desire for it to be true so as to make more sense of the world, simplify the complexities of living, or to give myself a sense of control over my own destiny. As I will explain, a balanced world is one where your actions have consistent outcomes (not necessarily consistent in terms of shape or form, but in quality or energy). Much like Karma describes, if I continually put good into the world, good will fall onto me. Good things happen to good people. The opposite is equally as true. To elaborate further, I believe to be happy I must be sad, to be healthy I must be sick. Everything balances out, kind of like a Sine wave. To segway into my next point, you must suffer to have joy and success. I learned this, and it is supported by, my journey to walk-on to the UVM Soccer team. I suffered significantly over the course of four and a half years for this, and I was rewarded, with a roster spot, but much more importantly with new habits of resilience and persistence and a certainty that I could achieve anything.

Context & Concerns

• I do have some conflicting thoughts about this belief as it seems to hinge on a zero-sum perspective of the world. I need to do more research into if the world really is zero-sum. I believe that how anything is, is how everything is, so I feel that if I can understand if economics, for example, is zero-sum or not, I can extrapolate that out to anything. The biggest problem I have right now is how the law of conservation seems to support this zero-sum thinking: matter cannot be created or destroyed, only transformed.
• 5/26/2024 Addition: related to this idea of balance, I don’t believe in any shortcuts. If it sounds to good to be true, it is. That is why I am somewhat skeptical of psychedelics. How can you get 10 years of therapy in 1 day? You have to pay for the benefit. Is the payment in higher risk of breakdown? More concentrated discomfort in the 1 day? Or long term effects? Aubrey de Gray believes in being able to reverse aging with scientific interventions after detrimental behaviors – not preemptive. I don’t believe this. There has to be a price.

Suffering

The next truth, is that of suffering is a requirement of life. From my understanding, this is similar to Buddhist philosophy. This truth is best encapsulated in the quote, “we all must suffer from one of two pains: the pain of discipline or the pain of regret.” I very much believe in this. There are things we all want. I don’t believe anything that we desire most deeply will come easily. We can either pursue these most deep desires and endure the pain of the discipline of committing to them, or we can endure a much more significant pain of regret if we avoid this pursuit. The pain of regret is long lasting, and far deeper. We may dodge the short term sting of discipline by cowering, but we will be haunted by the knowledge that we are a shell of what we could have been. Seeking out suffering, isn’t courageous or admirable, it is the logical way to navigate life (as it will in the long run lead to less suffering) and the only way to fulfill our potential.

Context & Concerns

• Here is another way to think of this truth. I used to be a person ridden with anxiety. Even at 19 years old, I could not bare to sit in a dining hall alone. I could not speak to someone I was attracted to while sober. I couldn’t walk through campus without headphones distracting me with music. I couldn’t do simple things without huge amounts of pain, of suffering. This changed when I began to seek out this anxiety. For me this was largely from UVM Soccer. I was terrified of this goal. I was scared to play against people better than me. I was scared to be anything less than the best player, because then I would have to make friends with my personality instead of talent credibility. I was scared to make mistakes in front of people I thought were cool and lose their approval. But I knew I was not fulfilling my potential, and I knew that I had the ability to go much farther than I did, and I knew, more than anything, that I would regret not trying to see if I could do it. Every day I was nervous for training. Everyday I was terrified of making mistakes. It was really hard and it was full of negative emotions and struggle. But over time, through suffering, I acclimated to that struggle and became more resilient. I can eat alone. I can walk without distractions. I can do the simple things with ease, only because I chose the suffering. But I am now weary, because “if you don’t use it, you lose it”. I need to push myself to do uncomfortable things otherwise I will regress and the suffering will start to find me in the simple things.

Empathy

Finally, I believe in empathy as a solution to all issues. At the core of all problems, be it homelessness, education inequality, or political polarization is, in my opinion, a lack of empathy. In the case of politics, many of us fail to understand the opinions of others. We fail to see that other people are having the same feelings as us, they just present differently in their behaviors. Everyone is hurt. Everyone is suffering. Everyone desires to connect. Everyone wants to be seen and heard. To achieve this understanding, we need to look deep within ourselves. I believe I’ve started on this path of self-understanding, driven by my daily data logging. This is a practice I started to try to eradicate my performance anxiety to try to give myself an edge in soccer so that I could make the UVM soccer team. I tracked everything I did every day and measured how much anxiety I felt the day after. This way I could see how my body reacted (according to my perceived anxiety, but also according to my physiological markers of anxiety – HRV, LF/HF Ratio, etc.). I began to see what impacted my anxiety, but more importantly, as I tracked more and more behaviors and emotions, I started to get a deeper understanding of myself. I learned, with objective evidence, that I was physiologically less anxious when I did things that were hard (see first universal truth), engaged in learning, and spent time with others. I was at my worst when I drank alcohol and did things that were easy (see first truth, again). When I learned these things about myself, and started sharing my findings, I found that many people had similar feelings. Everyone, without exception, suffered from anxiety. Many people questioned there relationship with alcohol. And most people wanted to learn more about themselves. When I realized I wasn’t alone, I became not just more accepting of myself, but more compassionate and accepting of others. I know how hard life can be. I can look back at data explaining how hard it is. And I know everyone else is going through those same feelings. We may have different problems on the surface, but at the root, I feel all people suffer from the same feelings of anxiety, needing to have the approval of others, and feeling lost. When I approach the world with this understanding, I can react with empathy. When I am yelled at, I understand and feel for the assailant as he or she feels hurt (by me or by someone else) and just wants me to feel the hurt that they have so that they are not alone, because just like me, they are afraid. When someone is cold to me, it may very well be that they are anxious or nervous in this environment and are shrinking to protect themself from being exposed and being rejected by others.

Context & Concerns

• I am confident in this truth. People are not evil or mean. People are just hurt, from recent or deep childhood trauma and are seeking connection. They want and need others to feel the pain they feel, so they can avoid traversing the suffering alone. This may present in someone being mean or overly nice.